Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
