Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Pants are for mortals
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
