Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Are we still banned from the library?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
