We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
