Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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