dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
