and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
