I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
It's never too late to be topless.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
