Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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