I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
