omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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