Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
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