Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
