it wasn't lemon gatorade
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
