Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
