im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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