I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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