why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
