I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
