people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
