What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Randomize
