At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
