She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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