If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
