Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Dick very happy bro
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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