Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
