You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
