just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
