Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
