I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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