you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I wish my penis had an off switch
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
