I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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