Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
