He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
