I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
