I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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