I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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