Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
