i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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