i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
