Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
he had hair everywhere except his balls
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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