The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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