I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
this is an emotional support booty call
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
