I can't breathe out the right side of my face
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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