and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just want nice things and good sex
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
