last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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