I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
