Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
A+ Viking dick
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