Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
