Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
