And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
