Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
