The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
